(Neil Derrick in the 1960's)
In 1959, the poet
Edward Field was working as a temp typist at an advertising agency in
Manhattan. The manager sat down next to him a muscular, handsome
young man with fair hair named Neil Derrick. “You two should get
along,” she said.
“We
talked all day,” said Edward. “She separated us the next day, but by then it
was too late.” A few weeks later, Edward moved into Neil’s Hell’s Kitchen
apartment. Thus began a relationship that spanned 58 years until Neil’s death on
January 4th, 2018
I met with Edward
in his spartan apartment in Westbeth, the artists’ housing in the
West Village, where he has lived since 1972. We discussed Edward’s relationship
with Neil, Neil’s writing and his work writing pornography for Grove Press
and other publishers.
Edward spoke of their tumultuous break up in the
late 1960’s at the height of Gay Liberation and their reunion that was provoked
by Neil’s brain tumor and post-surgical blindness.
During the last
four decades of their relationship, Edward and Neil traveled to Morocco and
developed a routine where they lived in Paris, Berlin and London on a
regular basis. Together, they also wrote the novel “Village,” a saga
about a multigenerational family in Greenwich Village.
DYLAN FOLEY: We
are near the first anniversary on Neil’s death.
EDWARD FIELD: Yes,
he died on January 4, 2018.
DF: You’ve had
diarrhea recently?
EF: I’m pretty sure it
started because of Neil’s anniversary.
DF: Do you think
that it was stress related?
EF: I’m sure. There is
nothing in my life that would give me diarrhea except that. I am of the
generation that believed in psychosomaticailments. That’s
old-fashioned psychology, but if you believe it, it’s true.
DF: Could we start
from the beginning? How did you meet Neil?
EF: I was working as a temporary typist.
You could make a living, you could live on what you made as a temporary typist.
Rents were low, food was so cheap, restaurants even. I was an actor, and my
acting teacher said, “If you want to be an actor, learn to type.” Well, I
already knew how, but I didn’t want to be a typist. I did it anyway. I
was working at an advertising agency in the typing pool. The
first day, the supervisor brought over a young man and sat him down at the work
station next to me. “I think you guys will get along well.” Indeed, we didn’t
stop talking all day. The next day, she moved me to the back, so we weren’t
together, but it was too late.
DF: What was
Neil’s family background?
EF: He grew up on a
ranch in the Central Valley of California.
DF: What was his
childhood like?
EF: He has a sister, Diane.
They’re WASPs. The mother was Canadian, so there was an overlay of
Canadian gentility to the ranch and the cowboy image. I always felt because of
the Canadian connection, they had a respect for the monarchy.
DF: Do you know if
Neil had a happy childhood?
EF: He didn’t complain.
He had his mother’s attitude towards his father. She thought the father, a
ranch manager, was a boor because she was so genteel. I don’t really know much
about his childhood, except he was adored. He was such a cute kid. Growing up
in a conventional environment, he always looked with wonder at
the New York experience, growing up like I did.
DF: What was
Neil’s birth year?
EF: ’31. I was born in
’24. There is seven years difference.
DF: Was Neil
drafted?
EF: He was drafted for
the Korean War. He spent two years at the U.S. SHAEP headquarters, outside
Paris, the big joint-military headquarters. He was first stationed in
Chicago as an army clerk and saw a notice of a vacancy at SHAEP, applied, and
went to Paris for the rest of his service.
(Edward Field and Neil Derrick)
DF: How did Neil
wind up in New York?
EF: Neil was studying
journalism at Berkeley, with his junior year at Exeter College in England.
When he graduated from Berkeley, he came straight to New York where
his sister was living. When I met him, he had just come back from his sister’s
wedding in California. I’ve always thought that as significant, that he was
free to make a relationship because she had.
DF: What kind of
jobs did Neil have?
EF: He worked as an
editorial assistant for trade magazines. When we got together, he got a
job at the Museum of Modern Art. He, too, wanted to be a writer. Of
course, I encouraged him. I didn’t have a book yet, but I had been
published a lot. Though I was in the poetry world, and he
wanted to write fiction.
DF: What year did
you meet?
EF: It was ’59.
DF: Where were you
living then?
EF: When I met Neil, I
had been living on Central Park West with an actor I had performed with the
summer before. I had been the leading man in a summer theater
company outside Pittsburgh. I had a very good if short acting career.
I played big roles and knew what it meant to stand on the stage before an
audience.
(Edward and Neil in the aughts)
DF: Was Neil’s
apartment in Hell’s Kitchen?
EF: Yes. I moved in there
very quickly.
DF: The situation
was not ideal?
EF: It was a railroad
flat with the toilet in the hall. The rent was $42 a month and it was
on West 47thStreet between 8thand 9thAvenues.
The police station was right across the street, so it was very safe.
We were once going to the
Apollo Theatre on 42ndStreet. When we had sat down to watch the
movie a police officer came over and called us out and put
us up against the wall. Then drove us to the police
station. We learned that a police officer from out of town had been
walking behind us and heard us talking about the murder of a woman upstate,
like we knew something about it. We did not. After two hours of
questioning, a top detective came in and said, “If you know anything about
this, come back and tell us. We are going to keep an eye on you.”
DF: Did you move
because of your neighbor?
EF: We called her the
Widow Murphy. She had a big family and a lot of parties. It was pretty noisy.
So we moved into Alfred Chester’s loft in the South Village. I knew him
from NYU. We then found a furnished apartment. We went from place to place. You
could do it back then. We finally found an apartment.
DF: Could you
describe Neil physically?
EF: He had a wonderfully
athletic body, though he wasn’t an athlete. He just grew up on a ranch and
rode horses. And he did exercises regularly. One shoulder was short, because
his shoulder blade had been broken at birth and he had an operation to repair
it. But he had terrific posture, a beautifully straight spine, and was very
attractive.
DF: You were
together through the ‘60’s?
EF: Yes, then he started
having seizures, epileptic seizures.
DF: Was Neil
sleeping with other men?
EF: Not much. Being from
the east, I'd had a wild sex life. He really didn’t. Then, after we were
together about 10 years, I woke up one night and he was having a grand mal
seizure next to me! And they kept happening. A brain scan showed nothing, no
cause for the seizures.
Eventually, the seizures
were controlled with pills, anti-seizure pills. The medication worked. Having
had a lot of psychotherapy myself, I asked him if he had any idea what was
causing the seizures? He confessed that he was very frustrated. Especially with
gay liberation breaking out all over, all around us in the Village was
a sexual frenzy. It was freedom, freedom. Everybody was screwing around.
He had never done that and I had.
Also, in 1963, my first
book was published, “Stand Up, Friend, with Me.” It was very successful.
Wherever we went, people would scream, “Edward Field, the poet.” And Neil, this
gorgeous guy I was with, was ignored. That was a factor.
I told him, okay, do
what you have to do, and I'll get out of your way. I am going to go
to Afghanistan. You're free.
I went to Afghanistan and
when I came back, he was living in Chicago and then London. Finally,
he came home and we were living in the same apartment, which was
impossible.
DF: Were you still
broken up at this point?
EF: We were. Essentially,
I had to find a place of my own. (Chuckles) He was not going to find the
place. I went to Westbeth. I said to the manager, “I can’t stay in New York if
I don’t get an apartment here.” The manager said, “That’s what we are here for,
to keep artists in the city,” and gave me a studio.
DF: Did you have
any understanding to get back together after you got back from Afghanistan?
EF: No, that was the end.
Of course, I was still madly in love with him.This is hard for me to
tell…(Edward’s voice cracks and he starts to tear up. It’s okay, he said,
I’m a crier.) Then he started having blackouts. And a doctor looked in his eyes and
said, “You have a brain tumor. I can see it.” I think there was pressure on the
optic nerve which showed in his eyes.
He had an operation
and lost most of his sight. After going through a blind training
program in West Haven, he tried living alone. I was now at Westbeth
and he was on Perry Street in our apartment there. But it was too
difficult. He was even robbed. The police station had said that
people should register their electronic equipment with the police, so he
brought in a sheet listing all his blind equipment—talking book machines
and recorders. The neighbors said that men came down loaded with suitcases
one day. All his stuff was taken away. It’s hard not to believe that it didn’t
have a connection to the police.
DF: Neil lost 98
percent of his sight?
EF: He had two percent
peripheral vision. He couldn’t go on living by himself. I was going over and
cooking for him. This was not romance.
This was really love. I loved him. He
finally moved in with me here in Westbeth. I moved into Westbeth in
1972. And we lived together for 46 more years. We were together
for 58 years all together.
Neil had another brain
tumor at one point, and I took him to Johns Hopkins for pinpoint
radiation. They targeted the tumor and burned it out, but it killed the hearing
in that ear.
There could have been
another tumor. In the last year of his life, he lost the rest of his sight and
then his hearing.
I figure we had a
terrific life together. Whenever I could, I would connect him with sex. Not me.
I never found anybody else. We went to baths in Europe. In
the steam room I would take his hands and put them on someone. That’s
what they were there for.
DF: You guys
stopped sleeping with each other?
EF: No more. We never had
sex again [after we got back together]. It was just not on. We had stopped.
Somehow, the break up of two years…I got the message. It was all right. I’m
okay.
Can I tell about
my private life? Because he was always walking around naked, it was
gorgeous. I had living porn all the time and I whacked off over him constantly.
I really had a very good sex life, I figure.
DF: You did not
have sex together again?
EF: No. No more.
DF: Neil lost
interest in you?
EF: He really didn’t have
an interest in me. You see, I was family. When you become family, it’s
devastating to your sex life.
DF: What was
Neil’s writing career like?
EF: He was not
unsuccessful. When he was sighted. Did you ever see his books? [Edward pulls
out a stack of 1960’s pulp paperbacks.] He had a half dozen soft-porn novels
published, one by Grove Press, “Sticky Fingers.” I think the Stones took
their album title from it. It’s about a lady who can’t stop fooling
around with her pussy. All of his books are fun.
When he lost his sight, he
said, “I can’t write anymore.” I said, “Well, let’s see.” I was going to
Yaddo for a month or two. Before I went away, I plotted with him a novel,
chapter by chapter. I went to Yaddo and he had written the whole
novel by the time I came back. He was a typist. But he couldn’t revise
what he wrote.
I helped him rewrite
the novel and he called it “The Potency Clinic.” We published it
ourselves. A Berlin publisher found it in a gay bookstore and
published it as “Die Potenz Klinik.” It was in print for several
editions in Germany.
(The German edition of The Potency Clinic)
An editor friend, Bob Wyatt,
said, “You know that proposal you sent me about four generations of a
family in Greenwich Village? We like it. Could you write a synopsis and I'll
submit it to the board.” We'd never proposed anything like it to him, but
we put together an outline. Two pages. And he gave us a contract
for “Village,” by Bruce Elliot, which we wrote together.
DF: How did your temperaments work together?
EF: We fought. We
fought over every line. At the end, it was all right. It was just
part of the process. We wrote “Village” here and in Europe, in The Hague, over
the winter, in my brother-in-law’s house while he was working in Berlin.
We wrote a quarter of the book there in 1980. We delivered it on time and
the book came out in 1982.
DF: You were obsessed with rewriting the book in the
aughts?
EF: A small press wanted
to reprint it, so we revised it. Neil was not happy that the small press
published it with our names on it. He was obsessed with privacy. I always felt
it was part of being a WASP. He didn’t want his name on anything. He used Bruce
Eliot, a pseudonym. Also, Anita Parker. He had a lot of pseudonyms for his
porno books. “Sticky Fingers” was written under the name Eleanor Bartlett.
DF: I find it interesting that Neil was a gay man writing
about heterosexual sex.
EF: I helped him
with a lot of the sex scenes. He did some gay sex, too. “The Potency
Clinic” was gay, and “Inferno of Women” had lesbian sex.
DF: Was that based on the Women’s House of Detention on
Greenwich Street. How was it?
EF: It’s fun to
read. All his books are fun. And on line they are now selling for quite a
lot.